Medics
“There is nothing more devastating to an enthusiastic performance than the missed rim shot.”
Daily · #39
Line of the day
One line a day from the Medics Musings episodes, straight from the transcript: no AI punch-ups, no laugh track. Share it, then hear it in context.
“None of the speakers has disclosures except for Professor Andy Schmelman, who accepted a promotional pin from an antibiotic salesperson in 1984.”
“Who would ever think that "he is a robotic surgeon" would be a compliment?”
“I will try to do for the human groin what the ancient Romans did for the world.”
— Pax Inguinalis: Negotiating a Just and Lasting Peace in the Inguinal Region (Part 1)
“Motion, space, and time cease to exist after the second hour of any laparoscopic case.”
— Standing on the Shoulders of Physicists in the Operating Room
“Look, I'm no doctor, but it's five degrees below zero out there. I don't need you injecting ice water in my ear.”
“I have never opined on when the transversus abdominis becomes aponeurotic, although I dated a woman once who became aponeurotic during an anti-war rally in Chicago in 1971.”
“Let us never forget the overpowering attraction of clear, pure bile.”
— The Presidential Address of the International Brotherhood of Biliary Tract Workers
“Mine workers bring a canary down the shaft. Biliary workers bring interns along, and when the intern drops, they know it's time to convert to an open case.”
— The Presidential Address of the International Brotherhood of Biliary Tract Workers
“If your pickleball game lasts more than four hours, consult a physician immediately.”
— Senior Pickleball: When the Spirit Is Willing but the Joints Are Not!
“My single qualification for moderating the negotiations for the Pax Inguinalis is that I have performed a lot of hernia repairs.”
“My lover left me for a more attractive mate.”
“The way she handled that maternal transference curveball mid-session, that's going in the training videos.”
“Everyone wants to squeeze the cantaloupes before they buy them.”
“This is what we call a therapeutic touchdown, folks.”
“The physical labor has changed from tassels to keyboards, but the body is still keeping the score.”
“That's like dropping an F-bomb, but with dentures.”
— Senior Pickleball: When the Spirit Is Willing but the Joints Are Not!
“Five years ago, I would have had the reflexes to lose that point.”
— Senior Pickleball: When the Spirit Is Willing but the Joints Are Not!
“A beautiful cholecystectomy with bile duct exploration and extraction of a left hepatic duct stone.”
“He's fourth and gall.”
“The surgeon must be patient, not impatient like the impatient patient.”
“Is that mesh in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?”
“He was the only practitioner alive who could connect a mysterious abdominal symptom in the 1990s to a specific dance move performed in 1955.”
“The crowd would be going wild if there was one.”
“Sylvia Kropopnik had an EMR problem list as long as the Bronx Telephone Directory.”
“I think that's why internet grocery shopping failed. Everyone wants to squeeze the cantaloupes before they buy them.”
“I was thrilled to be able to cradle human pathology in my hands.”
“Nineteen fingers, two walker balls, and a jar of virgin olive oil, most assuredly headed to another center of excellence.”
“Mesh grows like a free-spirited blastomere facing inguinal adolescence.”
“Heisenberg's principle of indeterminacy: the location of the radiology technician at the time of cholangiography is indeterminate.”
— Standing on the Shoulders of Physicists in the Operating Room
“The public has never schlepped down a bile duct at 2 a.m.”
— The Presidential Address of the International Brotherhood of Biliary Tract Workers
“Freud thought that the psychoanalytic pathway to a rejuvenated attitude should go through the innermost comedic pathways of the mind.”
“If a groin weakens in the middle of a hospital ward and a surgeon is not there, is it a hernia?”
“Descartes' vortex theory: all cables and tubing become intertwined despite logical arrangement.”
— Standing on the Shoulders of Physicists in the Operating Room
“I may be the one with a brain tumor, but you're the ones who need your heads examined.”
“Are there Hollywood makeup artists lurking in the foramen of Winslow?”
“It exists in all humans, except those who are compliance officers.”
“They weren't selling kale salads on Navy Pier in 1972.”
“Everyone maligns the assistants, but they are key.”
“Is a numb inguinal region better than a painful inguinal region?”
“The audience averaged about 75 members, some of whom were medical students.”
“Surgery is biology. Surgery is not chemistry.”
“Medicine today has become very specialized. You need a subungual professor at a center of excellence to deal with this.”
“There was order and relative tranquility. People understood what had to be done, and they understood the consequences of not doing what had to be done.”
— Pax Inguinalis: Negotiating a Just and Lasting Peace in the Inguinal Region (Part 1)
Every line so far
- “There is nothing more devastating to an enthusiastic performance than the missed rim shot.” Tassel Twirling in Tulsa: Bumps, Grinds, and Scalpels
- “None of the speakers has disclosures except for Professor Andy Schmelman, who accepted a promotional pin from an antibiotic salesperson in 1984.” Pax Inguinalis Salons and Evening Events (Programme)
- “Who would ever think that "he is a robotic surgeon" would be a compliment?” Out of Touch: From Healing Touch to Digital Distance
- “I will try to do for the human groin what the ancient Romans did for the world.” Pax Inguinalis: Negotiating a Just and Lasting Peace in the Inguinal Region (Part 1)
- “Motion, space, and time cease to exist after the second hour of any laparoscopic case.” Standing on the Shoulders of Physicists in the Operating Room
- “Look, I'm no doctor, but it's five degrees below zero out there. I don't need you injecting ice water in my ear.” The Iceman Cometh and the Patient Goeth
- “I have never opined on when the transversus abdominis becomes aponeurotic, although I dated a woman once who became aponeurotic during an anti-war rally in Chicago in 1971.” Pax Inguinalis (Part 2)
- “Let us never forget the overpowering attraction of clear, pure bile.” The Presidential Address of the International Brotherhood of Biliary Tract Workers
- “Mine workers bring a canary down the shaft. Biliary workers bring interns along, and when the intern drops, they know it's time to convert to an open case.” The Presidential Address of the International Brotherhood of Biliary Tract Workers
- “If your pickleball game lasts more than four hours, consult a physician immediately.” Senior Pickleball: When the Spirit Is Willing but the Joints Are Not!
- “My single qualification for moderating the negotiations for the Pax Inguinalis is that I have performed a lot of hernia repairs.” Pax Inguinalis (Part 2)
- “My lover left me for a more attractive mate.” Out of Touch
- “The way she handled that maternal transference curveball mid-session, that's going in the training videos.” Transference Analysis: Play by Play
- “Everyone wants to squeeze the cantaloupes before they buy them.” Out of Touch
- “This is what we call a therapeutic touchdown, folks.” Transference Analysis: Play by Play
- “The physical labor has changed from tassels to keyboards, but the body is still keeping the score.” Tassel Twirling in Tulsa: Bumps, Grinds, and Scalpels
- “That's like dropping an F-bomb, but with dentures.” Senior Pickleball: When the Spirit Is Willing but the Joints Are Not!
- “Five years ago, I would have had the reflexes to lose that point.” Senior Pickleball: When the Spirit Is Willing but the Joints Are Not!
- “A beautiful cholecystectomy with bile duct exploration and extraction of a left hepatic duct stone.” Fourth and Gall (Play by Play Coverage)
- “He's fourth and gall.” Fourth and Gall (Play by Play Coverage)
- “The surgeon must be patient, not impatient like the impatient patient.” Pax Inguinalis (Part 3)
- “Is that mesh in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?” Pax Inguinalis Salons and Evening Events (Programme)
- “He was the only practitioner alive who could connect a mysterious abdominal symptom in the 1990s to a specific dance move performed in 1955.” Tassel Twirling in Tulsa: Bumps, Grinds, and Scalpels
- “The crowd would be going wild if there was one.” Transference Analysis: Play by Play
- “Sylvia Kropopnik had an EMR problem list as long as the Bronx Telephone Directory.” Sylvia's Walker Balls
- “I think that's why internet grocery shopping failed. Everyone wants to squeeze the cantaloupes before they buy them.” Out of Touch: From Healing Touch to Digital Distance
- “I was thrilled to be able to cradle human pathology in my hands.” Out of Touch
- “Nineteen fingers, two walker balls, and a jar of virgin olive oil, most assuredly headed to another center of excellence.” Sylvia's Walker Balls
- “Mesh grows like a free-spirited blastomere facing inguinal adolescence.” Pax Inguinalis (Part 3)
- “Heisenberg's principle of indeterminacy: the location of the radiology technician at the time of cholangiography is indeterminate.” Standing on the Shoulders of Physicists in the Operating Room
- “The public has never schlepped down a bile duct at 2 a.m.” The Presidential Address of the International Brotherhood of Biliary Tract Workers
- “Freud thought that the psychoanalytic pathway to a rejuvenated attitude should go through the innermost comedic pathways of the mind.” From Burnout to Punchlines: Freud's Solution
- “If a groin weakens in the middle of a hospital ward and a surgeon is not there, is it a hernia?” Pax Inguinalis Salons and Evening Events (Programme)
- “Descartes' vortex theory: all cables and tubing become intertwined despite logical arrangement.” Standing on the Shoulders of Physicists in the Operating Room
- “I may be the one with a brain tumor, but you're the ones who need your heads examined.” The Iceman Cometh and the Patient Goeth
- “Are there Hollywood makeup artists lurking in the foramen of Winslow?” Out of Touch: From Healing Touch to Digital Distance
- “It exists in all humans, except those who are compliance officers.” From Burnout to Punchlines: Freud's Solution
- “They weren't selling kale salads on Navy Pier in 1972.” The Iceman Cometh and the Patient Goeth
- “Everyone maligns the assistants, but they are key.” Fourth and Gall (Play by Play Coverage)
- “Is a numb inguinal region better than a painful inguinal region?” Pax Inguinalis (Part 3)
- “The audience averaged about 75 members, some of whom were medical students.” From Burnout to Punchlines: Freud's Solution
- “Surgery is biology. Surgery is not chemistry.” Pax Inguinalis (Part 2)
- “Medicine today has become very specialized. You need a subungual professor at a center of excellence to deal with this.” Sylvia's Walker Balls
- “There was order and relative tranquility. People understood what had to be done, and they understood the consequences of not doing what had to be done.” Pax Inguinalis: Negotiating a Just and Lasting Peace in the Inguinal Region (Part 1)