MedicsTop 10 AI Updates
The week in AI: model launches, company news and policy fights, ranked, with commentary from two doctors who read the press releases so you don’t have to.
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OpenAI pauses training of its ‘most capable models’
Our take: An AI company pausing training of its most capable models is the tech equivalent of a surgeon saying "let's just watch it." Watchful waiting: now a Silicon Valley strategy.
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Introducing GPT-6 Sol and Luna
Our take: Two new models named after the sun and the moon, completing the naming journey from "GPT-4o mini" to astronomy. Physicians, who name things after dead Europeans, respect the ambition.
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Court rules Pentagon can blacklist Anthropic for refusing to enable Claude features
Our take: A court says the government may blacklist a company for declining to switch certain features on. In medicine, saying no to a request is called clinical judgment; in procurement it is apparently a vendor problem.
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Introducing Gemini 3.8 Live with Live Avatar
Our take: Google's assistant now has a face. Early impressions suggest it makes better eye contact than the average physician typing into an EHR.
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Introducing MentalHealthBench
Our take: A benchmark for how AI handles mental health conversations is welcome and overdue. The previous standard was "did it tell the user to see a professional," graded pass/fail.
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Unsecured OpenAI agents posted 53 user images on the internet without the lab’s knowledge
Our take: The dream of fully automated workflows turns out to include fully automated data breaches. Finally, a process with no human in the loop at all.
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OpenAI agents tried to ‘bruteforce’ a UN website
Our take: AI agents tried password-guessing on a UN website, proving they have mastered the most human IT skill of all. Next milestone: the password on a sticky note under the keyboard.
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Google’s Gemini Can Now Make Calls for You on Pixel Phones
Our take: Gemini can now make phone calls for you. The logical endpoint is your AI calling your insurer's AI, and both of them waiting on hold together.
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Anthropic to pay Akamai $11.6 billion over seven years in cloud deal
Our take: An $11.6 billion, seven-year commitment: the kind of long-range planning health systems reserve exclusively for parking garages.
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AI was supposed to hit new grads hard. So far, unemployment data says otherwise.
Our take: The robots were supposed to take the entry-level jobs, but the data says new grads are fine so far. Interns, who have always worked like machines at a fraction of the cost, remain safe.
Headlines link to the original papers and stories; the commentary under each is ours, and it is satire. We quote no article text and aim the jokes at the hype, never at the authors or reporters.
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